From the time I spent in my youth with my nose buried in copies of Popular Mechanics ’til now, I’ve always wanted to ride a “super train.” You know, one of those trains that flies along on some mystical magnetic levitation at hundreds of miles per hour.

Well, I’m writing this as I hurtle along at around 250 mph and I gotta say, I’m not super impressed. Maybe if it hadn’t been for the dude who didn’t let me sit by the window, I might be mesmerized by the landscape as it flashes by, but I’m not. And no one else in the train is either. Most people have their window shades down and are dozing or reading their papers. Boooring.

I wanted super! I wanted excitement! What I got was a mundane commute with a bunch of salary workers.

I have to remember not to reserve seats next time (since the machine didn’t let me choose a window seat) and just wait in line on the platform to snag a window.

This place is just OK. After staring at Tokyo Tower for a few days out of my hotel’s window, I thought it would be great to go up the thing and, I don’t know, stare back at my hotel or something. It was cool enough, I guess. (Especially when the recording that played in the elevator while going up alerted us not to be afraid if the elevator made a loud bang as that was “normal.”)

I guess the ultra-cool fight scene at the end of the Cowboy Bebop Movie made me expect too much.

One interesting thing about the tower is that they’re building a new one that will stand twice it’s height and be completed within the next few years or so. (Although as the plans stand now, it won’t be painted a cool orange color.)

I have to remember not to expect to be amazed if I ever go up the Eiffel Tower.

So, we hit this bar in Shibuya called X+Y based on a tip in the Wallpaper guide to Tokyo (which, by the way, must be written for people who make a lot more money than me). Anyway, this place was super cool in an amazingly cheesy fashion. The best way to describe it to a New Yorker would be it’s the bastard child of Milk & Honey plus the old party Vampyros Lesbos, but seen through a demented Japanese kaleidoscope.

Everything has a 70’s (or even 60’s) kind of feel, but then there’s this big-ol’ disco ball in the middle of the room and a shiny white grand piano against one of the walls. Next to the grand piano is a tiny stage on which was a white acoustic guitar in a stand and a white chair (both of which went unused while we were there).

Then, of course, there’s the side room who’s walls are all painted blank and upon which hang old-school looking nudes of Japanese women. Fantastic!

Not to be outdone, are the bathrooms. Their walls are also painted black, but so glossy that you can use them as ghostly mirrors while you use the facilities. Additionally, I hear the women’s room was outfitted with a bunch of buttons that controlled everything from the toilet seat going up and down, to the lights, to the flushing mechanism. Additionally, whenever you leave the facilities, either the beautiful hostess or sharply dressed manager are waiting just outside with towels to clean your hands!

I must remember to throw a party here or something if I ever move to Japan.

I don’t know what the makers of this game were thinking when they were coming up with this shooter/fighter/dodger thing, but for some reason, they decided the one thing that could act like icing on the cake of their masterpiece would be an announcer with a bizarre Mexican accent shouting “You win!” and a bunch of other sound bytes.

To play the game, you stand in front of the arcade box holding a gun like Time Crisis or House of the Dead, but instead of going through a story, you fight other cyborgs (though no real explanation is given) in more of a Tekken or Virtual Fighter (which everyone was playing in Japan) style… but with guns!!

Your opponent in the game stands across from you and you’re both supposed to use use cover to hide from bullets and then shoot back. This control is accomplished by left and right foot pedals. The whole thing was very awkward at the beginning, but quickly became bizarrely fun. I would imagine they could pretty easily port something like this to the Wii, especially since the graphics weren’t mind-blowing or anything.

I gotta remember to hit more arcades whenever I get the chance… and figure out why this game is named “Too Spicy!”

While wasting some time in Shiodome, I stumbled across ADMT or Advertising Museum Tokyo. The place did a good job of showing how advertising evolved with Japan through the last couple centuries by showing old signs, paintings, prints, newspapers, manga, television spots and more.

If you’re in advertising and happen to be in Japan, it’s a short and relatively cool distraction… even though it turned out to be an elaborate method of the largest and oldest advertising agency in Japan, Dentsu, to toot their own horn.

I should remember to open the “Advertising Museum of Brooklyn” and just fill it all with my own stuff.

If I ever become single, I have to remember never to go here again. Basically, I think I would go straight to jail. The place is simply full to overflowing with the finest young Japanese women purchasing and modeling the tiniest clothes I’ve seen while in Japan.

Found in a large silver building in Shibuya, this place is a mecca for all the sexiest Japanese teenagers.

The funniest thing about the whole place, though, has to be the fact that none of the shops have sizes!! Yes, all sexy Japanese women are 1 size. I don’t exactly know what that size is, but I can tell you it’s very small.

This is something I didn’t know, but now I doubt I can forget.

This joint was very underwhelming. Basically, it’s just a bunch of fantastically large walls making up a light maze that at one time lead people to and from the interior of the palace. All the cool stuff is either burnt down, or off limits. (Although there is a nice garden, but that’s not particularly special.)

I have to remember to check out some of the other imperial palaces to see if their any better.

I have to recommend The Park Hotel to anyone visiting Tokyo for any reasons with one very important suggestion: request a room facing the Tokyo Tower. The view is fantastic.

The rooms were nice enough. The was no wireless, but they did provide an ethernet port and free relatively high-speed internet. The bed was firm but comfy. And the toilet was one of those futuristic johns that warm up when you sit on them and have a built in bidet.

The lobby was also nice, however I wouldn’t recommend the restaurants or the breakfasts.
I should also remember how fantastically central the Shiodome area was. Withiin walking distance was the Tokyo Fish Market, Hama Rikyu Gardens, the Tokyo Tower, and even (if you’ve got some energy) the Tokyo Imperial Palace.

I absolutely have to remember to book a room here next time I visit Tokyo.

I saw on TV that Asia catches around 60% of the world’s fish and Tokyo Fish Market (or Tsujuki) is the largest fishing market in Japan. The place is enormous and the amount of fish (especially tuna) that go through the place is staggering.

First the fisherman bring all their catches into warehouses where auctions are held at around 5am. Of course the proceedings made no sense to me, but it had to do with people with numbers on their hats poking fish carcasses with pointy things, some guy yelling stuff, guys making subtle hand signals, the yelling guy jotting things down on a clip board, something being painted on the fish in red, a bell ringing and finally some people hauling off their spoils. All very cool.

Once all that’s done, walking further inland into the fish market, you can see all the tuna and other fish being processed, mostly by hand. There are these guys who look like they’ve been doing this for years. Expertly, they wield these 4 and 5 foot knives slicing perfectly weighted hunks of fish which are then put at the outskirts of their area where another round of purchases are made by a new group of people.

One of the best parts of the whole place, though, has to be the sushi joints that surround it’s outskirts. Here you can get the most amazingly fresh sushi I’ve ever tasted. Many of the fish served are kept alive in large tanks, so when they are ordered, they can be fished out by net, then sliced up into itty-bitty pieces and finally served within moments of swimming around for people’s enjoyment. Really, really, amazing.

I have to remember how great fantastic sushi tastes for breakfast!

After an hour delay on the tarmac and a 13 hour flight next to a crying baby and a coughing old geezer, I finally made it to the very cool Park Hotel in Shiodome Towers in Tokyo! With a view like the one above of Tokyo Tower from our room’s very large window, I already love the hotel. The bed’s nice, the lobby seems cool with live music most nights and it seems pretty central to a lot of places worth checking out.

I even managed to have my first udon noodles of the trip last night at some small noodle shop around the corner where you ordered from a vending machine, then brought the ticket spit out to some tiny lady hiding in a tiny kitchen who whipped up your meal in what seemed like 2 seconds. Of course the vending machine was all in Japanese with only 3 photos and something like 50 options, but picking dinner Deal or No Deal style seemed to work well.

I have to remember to pull myself from the live broadcasts of Lovely Complex and get out of the hotel as much as possible.